Translation
But even as the assembly of the called-out ones arranges itself under CHRIST, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything.
Paraphrase
In the same way that the church should place itself under the authority and leadership of THE SPIRIT-ANOINTED MESSIAH, so likewise a wife should place herself under the authority and leadership of her husband. She should do this in every aspect of their relationship
THIS IS NOT OPTOINAL
This passage paints a picture that is very clear. There is no way in which the followers of Jesus, the true church, can or should propel themselves into the lead above or in front of their Savior. That would be unthinkable. The same commitment and humility are expected of the wife toward her husband, not because the husband always gets it right, but because God has established authority structures with lines of authority which are one-way streets, not two-way streets. This is strong language and cannot be swept aside easily.
Can male leadership be abused? Yes, any type of authority can be abused. That will be dealt with in the next verse in a way that is even stronger than what was just said to the wife.