Strange Story: John 19 – Jesus Asked John to Take Care of His Mother

Why was John, who was not a blood bother of Jesus, entrusted with the care of Jesus’ mother Mary in John 19:26-27?

John 19:26

Translation

Therefore Jesus, having seen His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing by [her], says to [His] mother, “Woman,

look,

your son.”

Paraphrase

Therefore, when Jesus saw the disciple He had the closest friendship with standing by His mother, He said to His mother, “My precious Mom, I want you to take note of something – the one standing next to you is acting like a good son. Accept him as a son in my place.”

John 19:27

Translation

Then He says to the disciple, “Look, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own.

Paraphrase

Then He said to that disciple, “I want to tell you something very important. Treat the one you are standing beside as your very own mother. In my absence, care for her as I would.” So from that time on, that disciple took her into his own house and cared for her.

Spiritual connections are often more important than physical connections. Jesus asked John to care for His mother because John had the right kind of spiritual connection demonstrated by the fact that he was the one standing beside her at that moment. Jesus asked John to do this even though we know John was quite young. We don’t know if he was the oldest son in his family or not. That did not seem to matter to Jesus; at that moment He was looking at spiritual qualifications only.

This truth must be balance by the recognition that the family was the basic unit of society and is not totally replaced by the church. We need both. We need close connections in the body of Christ, and we need families that function as families should.

Even while suffering the agonies of a crucifixion, Jesus made sure that his mother would be cared for in his absence. But the care Jesus had in mind was not just physical. He wanted her in a place that would constantly remind her of His true character, not a place where His special qualities would be constantly questioned.

Jesus knew that Mary would be able to have some influence in the early church and He wanted to preserve it as a positive influence, not a negative one. It turned out that she did have some influence, and it was positive, but it was exercised in submission to the male leaders of the church.

Eventually James, the brother of Jesus that seems to have been next in line after Jesus, became a believer and even became a key leader in the Jerusalem church. But at the time when Jesus spoke those words from the cross, James had not changed his mind about Jesus. He was still a naysayer. So Jesus gave the responsibility to someone who would agree with Mary about Jesus. James may have disagreed with the decision at first, but after he came to acknowledge that Jesus was more than just his big brother and placed his faith in Him, he probably saw the wisdom of the decision Jesus had made.

The mother of an Israelite king was very influential and treated with special honor. Therefore, honor, respect and influence can rightly be given to Mary, but deifying her is not proper, and not biblically justifiable. Likewise praying to Mary goes against Scripture because we do not pray to any human being, regardless of how well-respected that person is.

The text is clear that even to the end of her life, Mary lived with John. This was largely because he had been given that responsibility by Jesus, the oldest brother of the family who, at that time, was the leader of the family in the absence of his earthly father Joseph. John took it seriously and followed Jesus’ directive till the end.

Footnotes

1

The word “woman” was used of a woman in general, but also of a wife. It often denoted a special relationship, although not always. To us it seems strange for Jesus to address His mother with the word “woman” but to them it was normal and that is because this word was often used in admiration, respect, kindness, and tenderness. For that reason, my paraphrase communicates that tenderness in a way that is acceptable to us.

2

This is the word that has often been translated “Behold.” It means “look!” but it has a wide variety of applications.