Troublesome Topic: My Advice For Those That Are Remarried With Children

Lesson 11 of 14

Speak honestly and openly with your children about the following:

How divorce and remarriage have tangled the lines of authority

The Bible teaches that respect for authority is one of several top priorities.

You will also make it a top priority.

The mistakes you have made

You own part of the responsibility for the situation you are in.

Be clear with your children about the following:

  • Be clear with your children about the following:
  • In the authority structure of your home
    • They have great value but zero authority
    • They don’t make the decisions
    • Unless given a choice about a specific situation
  • Your expectation
    • Don’t make them read your mind
  • The consequences of disobedience
    • Choose consequences that will be effective motivators
    • Be clear about how and when those consequences will be applied
    • Be consistent in your use of consequences

The world’s pattern for parents that are divorced or divorced and remarried is:

  • Each of the divorced parents speaks ill of the other
  • And undermines the authority of the other
  • Making it harder for the children to respect any authority

Don’t make the discussion about your former spouse;

Do make it about respect for authority.

These discussions with your children should happen without cutting down, demeaning, belittling or attacking your X.

Divorced parents should not try to make “I’m hurt and angry” into a spiritual principle they can follow, yet many divorced parents do just that; they follow their pain and their anger to the detriment of their children. Instead, what about following the principles God has already given us? Wow, what a concept.

Don’t be drawn into a mudslinging contest. Do let it go and give it to God.

Do refrain from doing what comes naturally. Learn to speak honestly about the key principles.

Try to always choose the high road.

In summary – Don’t follow the world!

If you seek to satisfy self, you will only succeed at making your life miserable!

The next lesson is: Consider Homeschooling