Troublesome Topic: THE ONE I LOVE TO ME AND I TO HIM 2:16

THE ONE I LOVE BELONGS TO ME AND I BELONG TO HIM

A man’s greatest needs in marriage are to be respected and admired; a woman’s deepest needs in marriage are to be treasured and made to feel secure. These needs are so basic and so deep that, if they are not met it is a deep wound. Emerson Eggerichs describes all this very well in his book Love and Respect (Focus on the Family and Integrity Publishers, 2004), and Shaunti Feldhahn does the same in her books For Women Only and For Men Only (Multnomah Books, 2004 & 2006respectively). In order to meet your spouse’s needs you must understand them, and the keys to that understanding have been in God’s word all along. Caring for one another’s needs is the key to a happy marriage.

HE GRAZES AMONG THE LILIES

Notice that, after asking him to watch out for the small opportunistic troublemakers, she doesn’t stop there. She does not stop at asking for something for herself; she offers herself to him as well. A wife whose needs are met will then respond to her husband’s needs, and when that happens she will usually out-respond him every time, that is the way women have been designed.

Outward beauty is of little value if there is no inner beauty, beauty of character. The Shulammite seems to have both kinds of beauty; she is an attractive woman and she is a wonderful person. Solomon has needs that are sexual, and needs that are deeper than that. Her beauty on multiple levels helps meet his needs on multiple levels. While God is the only one that can meet certain needs, a wife can be God’s agent in meeting many of her husband’s needs.