Strange Story: The Birth of Jesus Part 6 A Tension-filled Wedding

The wedding was simple. It was held at the house of his parents, but there was no seven-day feast as usual. There were no guests, only the required few. (In reality, the most basic form of a wedding only required that the man tell the woman, “I am now your husband; you are now my wife.” But since a wedding was a family affair, it was expected that some family be present, especially the parents. So we can imagine that his parents and her parents were there, if nothing else to make sure things were done properly, as properly as possible in their situation.)

After the short ceremony was over, “Reb’s” father stepped in front of his daughter and, in no uncertain terms, let her know that she was no longer part of his family, she was not allowed to enter their home or have any contact with any of the members of her family. If she had left anything behind, she was not allowed to go back and retrieve it. Anything they found that was hers would be burned.

She had anticipated this, and had brought all her personal belongings with her.

Her mother wept but showed agreement with what her husband was saying. Their daughter had caused them unspeakable shame; they had to show the community that they were distancing themselves as far as possible from the source of that shame, their daughter.

Her father turned to his new son-in-law and kept his statement as short as possible; he said, “two more of the same bride price.” (Obviously, this is my imagined amount that Joseph had to pay as a fine because Mary’s father thought Joseph had gotten her pregnant before marriage. I chose this amount to show what could have been the reality. It was always a large amount, so two more bride prices is a reasonable guess.)

Then his father stepped forward and explained that, even though they would be living in the apartment that “Up” was building which was connected to the family courtyard, they were not allowed to participate in any family events. They could not share meals together with others in the family, they could not even use the same cooking fire, or use wood from the same pile of firewood. They would be completely on their own except that their apartment was connected to the family courtyard. That was shameful enough.

The important thing was that they did indeed get married. “Up” took “Reb” home to his apartment but he refrained from having sexual relations with her until after the baby was born Matthew 1:25. He told her, “In the minds of everyone else we are now married, but in my mind, we are not fully married yet, Luke 2:5 and we should not consummate our marriage until after the baby is born. I cannot infringe on territory that is not mine – this is God’s baby so I will stay away from your reproductive equipment until God’s actions have come to fruition.”

At this time the apartment was not even close to finished. But they had each other. They had no need of material things if they had each other.

The rejection by their parents was expected yet painful. But once again they were comforted by the fact that they had each other. If the whole world rejected them, they still had each other and the words given to them by God’s messenger.

(While the Law did call for harsh punishment for sexual sins, it did not call for rejection by family members. Rejection was a reaction by family members to the shame they might face from the community. Instead of seeking to restore someone who had committed such a sin and been punished with punishments that do not cause death, such as fines, they thought only of themselves and their own reputations. In contrast, “The One who is Increasing” had been willing to live the rest of his life as a bachelor who was drowning in debt in order to spare someone who he thought had done him a terrible injustice.)

You can read much more about these issues under Troublesome Topics starting with What Made Sexual Sins Wrong? and continuing from there to other related topics.)

To navigate to Part 7 of this story click on The Birth of Jesus Part 7 A Census.